Who's the Champ?

Is there any tournament that delivers better matchups year in, year out than the Champions League? There is not. It's like an organized version of the great welterweight-middleweight battles of the 1980s, only it takes place over a span of a few months, and we can look forward to it every year. Other than being broadcast in the middle of the week when most of us are working, and not delivering a trophy to the Special One for five years now, it is flawless.

To mark the round of 16, check out the Phrasenschwein Project, a very useful glossary of clichés for would-be football snobs. (You'll note I said "football snobs" instead of "soccer snobs." That's step one for American aspirants.) Highlights:

FIERY Euphemism for "alcoholic." Also: "Southern European."

MARADONA Better than Pele. See PELE.

METATARSAL A part of the body that was discovered shortly before the 2006 World Cup. A mark of weakness: "They didn't have those when I was playing."

PENALTY SHOOTOUT A lottery. Note that you can't practice for them. England will lose through one in the quarterfinals.

PELE Better than Maradona. See MARADONA.

PIPPO INZAGHI He was born in an offside position.

(Thanks JC.)