Friday, January 15, 2010

Gallows Humor

Here's a partial translation of an email making the rounds in Torreón these days:
Tourist Package "Visit the best sites"

12:00 p.m.-Target practice in Colonias Durangueña, San Antonio, Fidel Velazquez, Tierra y Libertad, or any other part of the city. You can do this wherever you want, no problem.

2:00 p.m.-Participation in a kidnapping scene on Raúl López Sánchez, in front of Liverpool Galerías [a local mall], 100 percent real.

3:00 p.m.-Recreational activity: "Look for the dead body in a blanket", the winner will receive a free meal at the restaurant Cielito Lindo (gunfight included).

4:00 p.m.-Instructional activity: "Rip out the cash machine", location to be determined, includes work tools, pick-up with driver wearing a ski-mask, and instruction.

[Break]

With the purchase of "Visit the best sites" you will also receive:

*A brick with a bullet lodged in it (one per family, subject to availability)
*A certificate for having corrupted a local authority signed by the governor
And on and on it goes.

4 comments:

David Agren said...

Narcoturismo arrives in Torreón? ;)

pc said...

Unfortunately, I think that's probably the only way tourism is coming here.

Noel Maurer said...

I would take that tour. Gotta find a reason to get to Torreon. Place seems to have become much more exciting since I was last there in 2003.

pc said...

Exciting for the wrong reasons, unfortunately. It's reminds of my conception of Camden New Jersey or another of those really rough mid-sized northeastern towns: not a lot to do, not a lot to see, but hang around a while and you get some crazy stories through the rumor mill.